The Twelve Weeks of lockdown

(To the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas)
The first week of lockdown, they said on TV
That we’re all in this together, and it’s temporary
In the second week of lockdown, I faced calamity
Unable to buy toilet paper, which I needed desperately
In the third week of lockdown I was oh so busy
Playing ukulele and learning origami
In the fourth week of lockdown, I was introduced to Zoom reluctantly,
Commencing my relationship with that accursed technology
In the fifth week of lockdown I studied Danish obsessively
But I’ve lost focus and the Duolingo Owl misses me
In the sixth week of lockdown, I had a workplace injury
So they sent me a fancy chair, to placate me
In the seventh week of lockdown, I was spinning yarn constantly
To make sure I’d be useful, in the post-apocalyptic society
In the eighth week of lockdown, masks became obligatory
Making my ears achy and my glasses foggy
In the ninth week of lockdown, they enforced bedtime for the city
Fomenting crankiness and a stifling, eerie tranquillity
In the tenth week of lockdown, I jogged daily
Hurting my Achilles, somewhat predictably
In the eleventh week of lockdown, solitude stretched into eternity
as human interaction remained an illegality
In the twelfth week of lockdown, I wallowed in self-pity
Watching others States frolic at liberty.