I went to the women’s cricket
With the MCG teeming with fans
But people were already sick
And not everyone washed their hands.
I played in a roller derby tournament
Which probably wasn’t so wise
I bashed and pushed other skaters
And I even won a prize
Work told me I was no longer welcome
Because I was probably covered in germs
So I went and huddled in my hovel
Another exile from the law firms
I forlornly set up a home office
As technology drove me to despair
And I stared at the flickering screen
As my eyes slowly turned square.
I had a constant pain in my backside
And a mysterious crick in my neck
I squirmed and stretched and whimpered
As I darned my Ikea desk to heck.
I went to Court for a court case
But it had silently been adjourned
I learned to attend Court virtually
Using technology I spurned.
I hid my crocheted tree hat rack
So His Honour wouldn’t see my frivolities
As my cat hunted an imaginary mousie
And we discussed the legalities.
My boss’ cat attended a hearing
All dressed dourly in grey
And nobody dared to mention
That she had not given her appearance that day.
It was so bitterly cold in my unit
And my aging heater started to smoke
I covered myself in blankets
And forlornly sipped on a coke.
I’ve been cooking and eating at home more
But only cleaning infrequently
My house-keeping is atrocious
And the cat silently judges me.
I live alone in a bubble
With no family or friends allowed to intrude
I asked the cat if at least she loved me
And her answer was really quite rude.
I’m normally quite active
I dance and play team sport
But all alone I skated 38 km
Before sunset cut my adventure short.
I learned to spin my own yarn
I brushed the dust off my ukulele
I crocheted many a dinosaur
And practised my Danish daily.
I’m still stuck working at home
But I hope one day to be free
Because I’m going a little bit strange
And the cat’s thoroughly sick of me.